Angels & Clowns

On the radio, on the answering machine, on the telephone, in a theatre next to me, million voices are pushing words against my ears, begging "let me in, give me meaning", but I just hear myself and nobody else, I just hear myself. From the written page flows a tiny little stream straight into my head where it whispers and it screams "conversation, dear, kills me softly with its charm" "Hello, how are you? Love you too, but I just hear myself and nobody else, I just hear myself." "What do you mean?" "What do you think that I mean?" "What do you mean? It doesn't mean a thing to me!" "What do I mean?" "What precisely do you mean? What does it mean?" "I don’t care, cause I just hear myself and nobody else, I just hear myself."

Welcome to the silence I give, someone has to guide us to the river. Tried hard to disgrace me and fall, run out of the safe place when you call. Butterflies are coming to change our ways… The signs are all shifting unclear, can’t tell what I see from what I hear.

Swing a club and climb a tree, grab a gun and steal a spoon, scare the shit right outta me if you don't wanna come too soon. Roll the kidneys and the stones, get a brush and paint a crow, the pain moves from your ass into your bones and the jobs all start to blow. Nobody guesses a fistful of yeses's a fatal mess, the questions are addicted, nobody knows that a fistful of nos is a lethal dose, the answers are the same. Blame the angels and the clowns cause your credit card has swooned, get indoors forget the frown, cause my hard-on's reached the moon.

I'm ready to lose myself in your one million faces, the same ol' game with sad happy ending, pretending to dream with my eyes tightly open, the same ol' game I've played somewhere before... Everything I need is waiting somewhere to be freed, everybody that I know goes on to show we're all made of the same flesh and bone. As long as you're gone I'm not even sure that I'm living, the same insane feeling tells me I'm ready, unsteady, reduced to the dreams I've deserted, perverted all of the roads to lead nowhere...

Shut up and go, how much you do think that I can pay? A painted post card with a desert on a snowy white day. Seduce me in the colors that I’m used to wear and spend a fortune to dress me up an down a millionaire. Does anybody wanna know how good it feels to “sleep & go” and the yellow fever dance? I need to try it. Shut up and go, how much you do think that I can buy? A plastic skyline, body built inside my wide shut eye. Seduce me with the words that I’m used to say and spend a fortune to put some action to my ferry-tales.

The waters are breathing, the sands are asleep and my eyes are reaching for something to keep. The sands and the waters, immersed in the heat blackmail my brain cells to start with the cheat. Morgana... The sand fills my heartbeat, the sands fill my chest, the sand fills my eyeballs, still trying their best to search for your footsteps somewhere in my dreams. Whatever they show me is not what it seems. Morgana...

Curse the times that blow, cross your heart and soul, I can feel their trace deep into my face. Curse the times that run back from where they’ve come, I can hear the steps breathing down my neck on and on and on. From the spinning loom, from the fading room, from the sweeping doom, escape’em on my broom... Curse the times that roll over flesh and bone, they will never stop, always one more drop, on and on and on. From the cold machine, from the marching team, from the magazines, escape into my dreams.

Go on and climb up the highest tree you’ll find and tell me what you see. The world below at your feet is getting small, just grab it in your hand. Go take a ride on a airplane in the sky, look down, what do you see? A perfect show, all the lights go off and on reflected in your eyes. What are you running from? What scared you away? Where do you hide? Is there another world that’s drawn attention? Leave us all behind... The distance grows and the space is bitter cold, look back, what do you see? A little blue spot is fading out of view, a sparkle in your mind.

Turn off the lights and turn me on with candles, wrap me up in your two pence cheap trick magic. I don't wanna go home, but I don't wanna drown myself in mirrors, prisoner of all your fears. Chemistry and instinct shake their hands within my inside. Touch my colored flesh and change it to black and white, scratch my skin and let the red rose rise in rivers, cut my belly, eat my liver and rape my body with your fingers! Turn on the lights and fill me up with coffee. let me undo your skin from my hands... Oh, I wanna go home, I want to drown myself in motion, to wash away the sweet scent of your magic potion.

I’d buy house and rail and go straight to jail, I’d slay horse and king, I’d do anything you want. Whatever else may come and go, I can take it, but there is one thing that I know - I cannot find a way, I can’t find a way to please you. You draw fingerprints, I play evergreens, you dance on a string, I try to upgrade my chance, but there is one thing that I know, and for certain, whatever else may come and go I cannot find a way, I can’t find a way to please you. Who guesses, who knows Where from your wind...? I can read my lips with your fingertips, but I can’t read your mind. Fast-forward, rewind! If you don’t stop this tape I’ll spit wrath and grape, if you don’t play my game I’ll go straight insane! Find a way to please you, roll the good times with the bread and butter, the spiders and flies, where the fishes are jumping and cotton is high, in the evening I’m living, by the morning I'll die. Find the way to please you 'fore the curtain falls over all of the prophets and the subway halls with a secret entrance or a hidden door, I fly out as a raven just to come back NEVERMORE.

I want to see my name in a dictionary, I want to have it printed between writers and painters and doctors and queens, I want children to learn about me in school and have a statue built in a park. You'll sit on a bench and watch the pigeons shit on my head... I was number one in high school, now I'm the best man at my job, I'm working from early in the morning and in the evening I study at home... Don't ask me 'bout movies and women and cocktails and parties, I've never felt their taste, don't ask me 'bout anything except the work I do, cause I never had time to lose. I want to see my name in a dictionary, I want to have it printed between writers and painters and doctors and queens, I want children to learn about me in school and have a statue built in a park. You'll sit on a bench and watch the pigeons shit on my head... I've been filling hundreds of pages with letters and I've got used to see my face at the news. Now I'm headed towards the big congress to read my work and get the award.